The damage is done,
Words cut deep.
Actions reveal truth.
There isn’t a drug strong enough to dull the pain;
Or an apology so powerful it would heal the wound.
All we can do is move forward and allow time to ease the memories.
My sister is admitted into the ER after complaining all day of level—10 pain. (Personally I think it was exacerbated by the fact that our mom and our extended family decided to launch into attack mode.) Nevertheless, here we are in the ER brought by an ambulance—after a ton of runaround between nursing bays, Shiree and I sit in the hospital room. Shiree has to get blood drawn and while the RN inserts the IV—mom & dad leave the room for coffee. The second they leave Shiree says, "Isn't it so peaceful now that they're gone?" The nurse laughs and Shiree waits for my response, "Matt?"
I say yes, mom has given me a headache all day, but she's here because she loves us.
Shiree says, "I know. That's why I'm trying to be nice."
My sister’s inability to have a bowel movement for four days had us all in agony, her from the pain and us from hearing her torture-level moans. The nurse suggested a suppository, and after a lot of probing (literally) she finally caved. Dad and I left the room for about fifteen minutes so that the head nurse and her night nurse could administer the waxy poop maker. Jennifer, her nurse, came out into the family area and assured us we could go back into the room. She continued to inform us that the quicker-shitter-upper could take up to an hour to produce results, except that by the time that we had returned to the room, my sister was curled up in a ball squeezing her butt checks and clinging to the red emergency call rope.
We walked in and she said, “I got to go! NOW!” I ran out laughing, and nearly shit my pants––it was a hilarious scene. I ran to get the nurse, and in the meantime my dad asked, “Wasn’t that a pleasant experience?” To which my sister responded, “The going in part wasn’t, but this next part might be!” We burst into laughter and the nurses ran by with gloves and a bucket. When you’re sick, there’s no difference between us and animals, shit is shit––and you don’t horse around with that.
Her tired body fights to stand;
She’s working hard, but remains frustrated that her body hasn’t caught up with her mind.
Her wit and sarcasm are fully intact.
With a big smile she returns to her comfy lounge chair.
Time for a break before speech therapy.
Recovery doesn’t happen overnight––only in the movies.
Thankfully, the road ahead is promising.
I agree with my sister––most men are weak.
It’s hard for guys to see the women they love in pain, yet every lady I know could march through a bullet-storm in hell to protect their men.
My sister is such a fighter; surviving cancer and every illness thrown her way.
Now if she could just build up an immunity to the people in her life who surround her with a cloud of negativity.
Her light will always conquer their weakness.
There will always be those naysayers who find reasons to doubt;
Their negative energy is damaging and counterproductive.
It’s my goal to shine light, positive energy, and contagious Faith––perseverance and God are stronger than any poison a dubious person can administer.
I’m confident that my sister will fight and overcome.
Spending my Saturday night watching The Golden Girls with my sister just like we used to do when we were kids.
We would huddle around the television set in the living room in our uncle’s house while our parents played cards in the kitchen; we snuck in for Oreo cookies and milk during commercial breaks––then quickly back into our TV splendor.
The show made us feel closer to our grandmas, even though we were a thousand miles away.
As adults The Golden Girls still serves as a memory of our grams, more importantly, it’s a reminder of the bond that we’ve shared our entire lives––as long as we have one another we can conquer anything.
My sister at a popsicle on her own today;
A huge step on the road to recovery.
She smiled and said, “Cherry! Aren’t you going to eat?”
I said I would later.
She responded, “Won’t it go bad? Don’t you think you should eat it?”
Even when she’s sick, she stays thoughtful of others.
I sat and at a popsicle next to her like we did when we were kids.
She smiled at me––today, that was enough.
“Matthew Shaffer, enough!”
The words my sister sluggishly muttered to me today from her hospital bed.
Less lethargic, more lucid and responsive to questions.
Struggling with full sentences, but her phrases are sharp and to the point.
I love my little sister so much.
She is one tough cookie with a sweet and gooey inside, and she is going to make a full recovery; she’s a fighter!
My sister is brave and strong;
Even while sedated––she resists being told what to do.
Her willpower is no joke.
But she’ll still laugh when she passes gas,
And scream my name when I force her to wear her oxygen.
I love her so much.
Today my Faith was tested; I failed.
My sister is lying in a hospital bed, her body is weak. Fever has rendered her incoherent and like families do, we took our fear out on each other.
Emotions run high, and unfortunately I said things I didn’t mean to say.
You can’t undo hurtful words––regardless of whether or not they are warranted.
I questioned God, not because my sister is ill, but because of my dads conviction that is in direct conflict of my belief.
Regardless, I love my dad and mom, and we all love my sister. We have to do better to be kind, forgiving and Faithful.
Family is the most important thing to me, and I have to allow my actions to speak louder than my hurtful words.
The more you drink,
The fatter you get;
Plus it’s really hard to wake up in the morning!
How do you say “no” to fabulous events with dancers and choreographers from around the world?
Answer: You don’t––you drink more and worry about it once the festival ends.
It’s a simple phrase, one which I’ve used a lot this week.
I’ve never felt such a genuine outpouring of support, praise, and admiration;
Teaching has always been something I’ve done as my “day job”.
It’s only now that I’m discovering that dancers and choreographers actually respect my approach to movement.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude––when I wrote my book I had hoped that I might have an impact on someones dance career.
Working with dancers from around the world this week has single handedly reinvigorated my passion.
Thank you to all of the dancers, choreographers, and teachers who have reminded me that dance continues to be my pulse.
Let’s do this!
I’m always nervous working with new dancers.
You never know exactly what to expect.
Will they be talented?
Will they have technique?
Will they enjoy my choreography?
Will they learn something from me?
The minute I get into class, introduce myself and put the music on I relax and remember, oh right, they just love to dance as much as I do––that’s why they’re there.
When I was in high school I spent hours in the bathroom following a strict skin care treatment plan in order to alleviate the sever acne triggered by closeted teenage stress.
As and adult I spend hours in the bathroom studying the lines in my face; I’ll take the lines over the acne any day!
A.) Enjoy every adventure, seek balance, and live in the moment.
B.) Live in fear, doubt everything, and worry about the future.
It’s a tough decision... But I think I’m going to strive for option “A”.
The excitement of meeting up with the cast and crew months later to watch the final product.
I'm full of nervous energy in anticipation of my performance on a big screen.
The first time my face pops up on screen, I relax.
It's so cool to see my ridiculous reaction right next to movie star Paul Rudd.
The years of hustling, hard work, and perseverance feel small next to my larger than life alter ego.
I love this business. It's important to acknowledged my feelings in moments like this; there's no telling when my next opportunity to shine will come, and I don't want to give up before it does.
Making it in Hollywood means never giving up.
Every overwhelming day starts with a list.
A concise plan which enable me to think clearly;
I begin with just one task.
As I continue to cross minuscule projects off the list,
I grow more confident in my progress and become conscious of my path.
Six weeks, five cities, seven book signings, twenty different clothing combinations, thirty five hundred entries, countless plays of “Dear Future Husband”, enough pizza to build a bridge to Rome and back, more alcohol than water, glitter, confetti, hotel beds, hotel bars, Netflix, late night adventures on a golf course, and almost no sleep…
The time has finally come––our 2015 season has officially ended.
The only thing left to do is party on a yacht!
I’m ready to admit when I wrong;
I judged a person based on others opinions.
My gram taught me when I was five years old, not to listen to what others say about a person; rather, form your own conclusion after spending time with them.
Following a candid conversation, I realize I made a mistake.
It happens about once every five years, so I might as well own up to it.
A shower can change my entire outlook on life;
For example, when I got back to my hotel room I was cranky, bitter, smelly person who spent all day talking.
Now I’m refreshed and ready for a cocktail.
Some people are just born assholes;
You don’t always recognize them at first, well actually, yes you really do; the signs are there, you just ignore them.
Finally, their nasty personality and winning ego eventually get the best of you.
In that moment a switch goes off in my head that triggers me to ignore them with a huge smile.
That’s how I deal with it.
Finding creative inspiration daily can be a daunting task.
I wake up each morning with the intent to grow as an artist, which often means spending hours online searching for inspiration.
On those lucky days where a politician has sparked outrage, an activist stirs emotion, or a celebrity is caught in a scandal I have plenty of motivation;
All the other days I’m stuck staring at the blank page (so to speak) for hours.
The point is that I remain focused on establishing creative habits.
The creative process is different for everyone, but the universal truth is if you don’t remain proactive your art will die a slow and bitter death.
I’m an adventurist.
Never one to shy away from an unearthed path; I seek adrenaline in discovering new heights––personally and professionally.
Working on the road is has been an endless journey in self-awareness and evolution.
I’ve spent the past twenty years traveling for my job.
It’s sounds glamorous––hotels, exotic locations, new cultures, food, fancy parties, everything you imagine exists.
However the setbacks come a with a laundry list as well.
When I was in my early twenties I savored waking up in a new city ready to learn, I racked up the frequent flyer miles, too.
Experiencing the world on someone else’s dollar is not a bad way to earn a living.
I learned how to communicate in foreign languages, make the most of ten hours in a new city, get lost in a cathedral, pack a carry-on for a fifteen day trip, find the perfect cup of coffee, and socialize with strangers. My time on the road has been well spent.
Now in my late thirties, I’m running out of steam. Flying all night, public transportation, missing workouts, no time to meditate, eating poorly, drinking until all hours of the night, lumpy hotel beds, and long nights away from my husband and puppies is taking its toll.
I’m ready for a new adventure: Fatherhood.
I’m an artist and I will always seek out new opportunities that push me from my comfort zone. It’s time to create something bigger than me.
I’m at the fork in the road, and ready to try a new path.
If it wasn’t already complexity evident by my chosen profession;
I’m a grown up kid.
And because I work on the weekends, I have to find time for cartoon watching.
Scrolling through my cue:
Archer, American Dad, Family Guy, Scooby-Doo––get the picture?
Twelve years together;
Two years legally recognized by the state of California.
Now, officially acknowledge across the United States.
As a kid I dreamed of being married with children.
(I also dreamed of being rich and famous.) Both are a work in progress.
Earlier in my life I struggled to accept that I was gay, it meant giving up on a committed relationship and raising a family.
Thankfully (and at the exact right time in my life) I found a man who would inspire me, challenge me, support me, and validate me; all while making me laugh.
I believe in God for the very reason that He lead me to my dreams––despite the fact that they look a little different than the “normal” I grew up believing in.
Love comes in many different packages, mine although not perfect, is still the best gift I’ve ever received.
When you’re laying on your couch watching a marathon of KeepIng Up With The Kardashian’s instead of writing.
Positive: I get to cuddle with my puppies and catch up on some much needed brain downtime.
Negative: It’s a beautiful day outside and I could be at our pool, or at the very least working on one of the forty creative projects I’d like to finish this century.
But life is short, and in an effort to strike a balance between overachieving and turning into a fat, lazy, couch-potato, I’m struggling to live in this moment; on the couch.
As an artist who sacrificed almost every waking hour from third grade through high school to train, study, and perform––so that I could spend my life as a performer, I’m embarrassed to admit:
I am addicted to Reality TV.
It’s mindless and outrageous content that makes me feel a little bit better about my life.
Jeff and I have spent the last five years mocking Reality TV with our digital short parodies, but since the launch of my book we’ve been too busy to produce more content, so I think I’m going through full withdrawal.
During the past six months on tour I’ve consumed more trashy, scandalous, Kardashianesque crap than ever before.
And the RealiTV is I’m just disgusted with myself.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a conversation with Bethenny.
I’ve always heard that “luck” is when preparation meets opportunity.
After twenty years of nonstop hustling in the entertainment industry––I have a much better appreciation for the phrase.
The truth is no matter how much you prepare or how hard you work you can’t force the opportunity.
I’ve enjoyed my fair share of victories; similarly, I’ve experienced devastating setbacks.
I’m an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so I invest all of my emotion and creativity into every project with the hope of success. In doing so, I can look back on a lifetime of fun adventures and mini-dreams coming true.
When I set out to write a book, I imagined it on bookshelves in Barnes & Noble. I had no idea how it would happen, but I focused on writing a story I’d want to read, and I didn’t worry about anything else.
My finished manuscript sat on a shelf (or rather a folder on my Mac) for two years before the opportunity to sell it came along.
There were a few false starts, but it wasn’t until my partner and I created forty digital short videos, three television pilots, and I was performing on a TV show that a publisher took interest.
It was the perfect storm. Preparation meeting opportunity.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I have to remind myself of that every day. We always want every project we invest in to be a raging success; it’s only when the creator and project are certain for success that the opportunity appears.
The moment you wake up from a comfortable sleep with passion and determination; the very same motivation that inspired your last big idea––finally after months of overeating, negative thinking, and lack of Faith.
My struggle with cookies goes something like this:
I don’t need it, so I’m not going to eat it.
Okay, just one. It’s small and once I have the taste in my mouth I want crave it anymore.
[Five minutes later]
One more won’t hurt––I ate a light lunch and dinner is a few hours away.
[2 hours and a whole bag of cookies later]
I can’t believe I ate the whole bag of cookies and I’m still hungry.]
I wish I had dessert!
Today is my day off;
Which means I only have three conference calls,
and 4 social media posts to finish before I get to spend some time with friends at the pool.
Hustle, the life of an artist in the entertainment industry.
Some days you just need a good pep talk;
Life is too short to give a shit what anyone else thinks.
Follow your passion and stay focused.
Face negative energy with a positive action.
Don’t give up!
The conversations I have with my sister now versus when we were growing up is night and day.
The fights, name calling, and competition has been replaced with love, respect, and support.
I feel blessed to have a friendship with such a strong woman.
I’m impressed with her wit and intelligence, and her ability to listen and offer thoughtful feedback is appreciated.
She knows me, accepts me, values me, and encourages me––which is inspiring from a little sister.
Our evolution has been a constant work in progress, and I’m grateful for her willingness to continue to build our relationship.
You can’t choose your family, but you can choose how to communicate with them; I’m lucky to have a sister who’s ready to participate!
A rainbow sea of love and support;
I was reminded today that light and love win over fear and darkness.
As a teenager I struggled and ultimately condemned myself to live a lie.
Thankfully, over time and support from friends and family, I found the authentic me.
I had accepted that I could follow my dreams and love who I want; but would never be married.
Two years ago in California, I provide myself wrong––after 11 years of unconditional love, support, and creativity I was married to my best friend.
Today, everyone in this country, regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation, can experience the joy and safety of equality.
Love is love and marriage is marriage.
Running on fumes.
Life on the road keeps me out of shape, eating poorly, and up too late.
I need to set boundaries.
I also need to scale back on some of the impossible goals I set for myself.
It’s a delicate balance, and right now, I’ve got to engage my center and pull up on a full relevé!
What if no one shows;
Ego vs. Faith.
I love talking to a group of people about the entertainment industry.
Friends come to support;
Small but mighty.
I have a book in Barnes & Noble;
I should consider that a victory.
Everything else is just icing on the cake.
My emotions are on high alert;
I cried on an airplane for forty minutes last night.
There was no reason really––a song played on my iPhone, and I just started balling.
Flashbacks to childhood dreams lead to a self-evalutaion:
What I’ve achieved,
Who I’ve lost,
How much I’ve sacrificed.
I make choices that I believe will lead me to the best version of myself possible.
Only when I look back at the end of my life, will I know if it was all worth it.
Snuggled up in a warm bed;
Maybe I’ll get up for food, or maybe I’ll stay right here and stretch.
Long walks, lap time, and belly rubs.
Endless amounts of cookies and treats.
Someone who cleans up after my every move;
I wish I had my dogs life!
In an effort to reduce stress and enjoy a more balanced life,
I’ve decided I’m not going to rage today.
Yes, I want to go off on the lack of productivity I’ve received from people whom I entrusted with my career––but the simple truth remains;
NO ONE will ever work as hard as me on my behalf.
So, the negative energy is gone, and I’m ready to move on!
The minute you allow yourself to feel excitement for getting caught up,
Something happens causing a three hundred dollar meltdown.
I should be used to it at this point, but I don’t think we’re ever prepared for the sudden punch to our gut!
That’s life... or so “they” say.
Work, promote, play!
I love a weekend where I get paid to have fun.
Critiquing dancers, signing books at Barnes & Noble,
And best of all––spending a fabulous evening with my aunt!
My life has been filled with laughter, love, adventure and encouragement in large part because of her, and I last night was no exception!
Thankfully not everything stays in Vegas... I’m bringing my light up hat and a few bucks back with me this trip!
Expecting to be disappointed will guarantee a success at being disappointed.
Maintaining a positive outlook on life is not always easy, however it usually assures a more meaningful, joyous path to victory.
Setbacks, roadblocks, and negative people will prove frustrating––despite those obstacles we still have the opportunity to remain confident and trust in our optimistic point of view.
It might be perceived as naive, but I have no problem smiling while others are judging me.
The pain of losing a loved one is deep and constant.
Rejoice in their memory;
Remember the times they made you laugh or touched your soul.
Find comfort in their peace and celebrate their life.
The pain will linger, but so will the love.
My A-type personality never stops working whether I’m on the road, in an airport or at home, my head is constantly forcing me to be productive.
But my most of my best work happens at my office.
And by “office” I mean Starbucks.
It’s a strange part of my Gen-Y upbringing, either that, or the amount of time I spent in Starbucks while living in New York (because my apartment was under 200 square feet).
I feel more connected and alive when I’m sitting next to a row of likeminded creators hacking away on their Mac’s––and the one random accountant on his PC (belly chuckle).
Even after meditation, deep breaths and a lot of journaling––sometimes you just have to say F_c$ it!
Is that email response or follow up phone call really going to make all the difference?
My brain says yes! Never miss an opportunity, but my heart and soul want balance.
So, I’m walking away from the computer, and I’m giving myself a forced day off.
Because life is short!
I’d like to say that I’m going to spend my unexpected day off having brunch with friends followed by a sunny beach day.
Instead, I’m going to make a fort in my living room and cuddle with my puppies while watching 90′s sitcoms on Netflix.
In life, you have to know when to relax.
Who cares about tomorrow?
Fleeting moments of clarity always arrive precisely when you need them most.
It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with the quest for continued success, that I miss opportunities to bathe in the accomplishment that surround me now.
The best birthday present I received this year, was one I gave myself; the gift of release.
Release the need to:
Do it all.
Cross things off lists.
Predict the future.
Maintain a perfect body.
Deprive myself of guilty pleasures (in moderation).
It’s frightening to let go of the obsessive behavior that I connect to my success.
Will I still get things accomplished? Will I be ready for the future? Will I overlook an email and lose an opportunity?
No. I believe I will enjoy the work in front of me. I will be more productive and I will be able to celebrate accomplishments as they happen.
More than anything, there will be less stress in my life and I will be able to find the balance I’ve been seeking for years.
My Faith reminds me that I will be where I need to be, when I need to be there.
What’s that quote? Today is always here––tomorrow, never!
Cozy and warm snuggling next to my puppies;
It’s hard to leave the peaceful slumber.
Especially when you realize the day will be full of annoying people.
I’ll enjoy another five minutes with my innocent, loving, furry family.
I was convinced that the only way I could be happy was if I was performing.
However, after watching Rachel Platten execute the choreography I taught her while crushing her vocals at last nights Radio Disney Music Awards, my mind has been changed.
Rachel owned that stage like the star that she is, and I felt like I was soaring up there with her.
Dare I write this? It almost feels better to watch someone you’ve helped, shine!
She inspired millions, and I was a part of that.
So it really isn’t all about me?
I think I’m growing up.
Becoming a creative person is not something that just happens.
As far as I know, nobody came out of the womb with a paint brush, pointe shoe, musical instrument or reciting Shakespeare.
Creativity is a discipline. A process of learning how to take your passion and develop it into a craft that inspires emotion.
Creative people are focused, dedicated, hard working, overachievers who strive for new ideas and pushing boundaries.
The most effective way I’ve found to support my creative endeavors, is by staying focused on the habit of creating work.
It might not always be brilliant, but it will always lead to a more productive journey.
What’s that saying, “many hands make less work?”
Regardless of how many people I have “working” on my behalf, I still feel like the only one getting anything accomplished.
I’m not complaining or bragging...
I’m begging for help!
I’m getting my message out there one book signing at a time!
Now, if I could only figure out a plan of attack to get more than twenty people at a time to show up.
In fact, I was hoping to have about one hundred people per event.
Is that too much to ask?
According to my manager, agent, publisher, publicist and the Barnes & Noble rep... Yes.
You’d think that if they were receiving a FREE dance class, workshop and evaluation dancers would be lined up in scores;
Apparently people don’t read anymore!
I savored her embrace, gentle but firm;
I could smell her perfume and hear her laugh.
I even got to dance with her again.
It felt so real––I didn’t realize it was a dream until I woke up.
But at least I got to say goodbye.
Watching local TV commercials is similar to attending a high school production of “Grease”: forced comedy, awkward chemistry between the cast and that girl who thinks they’re going to be discovered as the next Jennifer Lawrence.
That terrible moment when you wake up to discover the ridiculously over-the-top incident that took place yesterday was NOT a dream.
Moving forward, walking on eggshells;
NO, that is not who I am.
So now, I have to “be” the asshole who pretends everything is normal.
Is this only Hollywood? Or does this shit happen in Nebraska, too?
It was standing room only during mass today;
Who says God is not a Rockstar?
Obviously Christmas has become such a commercially celebrated holiday––for Christians and non-Christians alike;
Now if only we could remind practicing Christians that Easter is by far a more important day.
Christmas, the birth of Jesus. Okay, well people are born EVERY day.
Easter, the resurrection of Jesus. Yeah, you don’t see that every day do you?
Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to take a break from work,
Then I remember all of those wise (by wise I mean people in their sixties) leaders on TV share wisdom to their younger self:
“I would have told myself that it’s all going to be okay.” or “You don’t have to try so hard.” or “You’re going to need triple-bypass surgery on your heart if I don’t stop stressing out so much.”
I’m giving myself the weekend off.
Never visit NYC during Spring break.
A.) It might be Spring, but it’s still F_cking FREEEEZING;
B.) The streets are covered with annoying teenagers who act out scenes in their favorite NY movies––and yes, I realize I did that when I was their age, too.
But I don’t care. It’s a lot to deal with.
I have two options:
Fear or Faith.
People can only disappoint you, when you give them the power to.
I need to ask for what I want (which I’m fairly good at) and then move on whether they help me or not (which I’m fairly bad at).
Life is too short to live in negativity.
So I must do whatever it takes to crawl out of the darkness and into the light.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the light switch, but it’s always worth it once you shine.
Remember that time I said, “there is plenty of time every day to do what you need to do...”
I stand corrected.
No matter how early I wake up, or how late I stay awake working––I can’t get it all done!
Who knew launching a book took so much time and energy?
Even with a publisher, agent, manager, two publicists and a group of very supportive friends, I still feel like overwhelmed.
I could never be an event planner.
Over the past three weeks I’ve been arranging the details of my official book launch (Sunday March 29th at Broadway Dance Center in NYC from 6-9PM) and I’m exhausted from the rejection.
As a performer who has been in the industry for over twenty years, I’m used to hearing “no”.
Generally, I can handle that because the odds are stacked against you in the first place.
However, when you invest time, energy, emotion and exploit every contact you know––and you still only have five confirmations?
Those are circumstances I’m not cool with.
Waking up in a new hotel room every weekend is what I imagine it’s like in the Twilight Zone––everything from the cheap, over-bleached sheets, to the poor water flow in the showers is vaguely familiar, but the furniture is arrange just different enough that you’ll stub your toe EVERY time you wake up in the middle of the night to go pee!
If I go to bed now, I can still get five hours of sleep.
But if I stay up working, I can cut my work-time in half tomorrow and take the afternoon off.
(Yeah right, I know I'll just find something else to do.)
It's time to stop typing words, and start counting sheep.
Laying in bed watching reruns of Roseanne,
Really puts things into perspective:
The late 80's were hilarious.
Roseanne pushed boundaries,
My life is startlingly similar to a housewives,
I love taking the day off––even though I've got my laptop and I'm still answering emails, posting blogs and making things happen!
I will elaborate on this moment when I can fully wrap my mind and heart around the feeling well enough to articulate a worthwhile essay;
In the meantime I will say that walking into a Barnes & Noble and seeing my book on a shelf next to Bob Fosse was overwhelming and incredibly exciting.
I spent the majority of my twenties in a Barnes & Noble, first in Chicago, then New York––reading, exploring, dreaming, scheming and growing as a person and artist.
This is a full-circle, HUGE event in my life.
I will never forget it!
Crossing things off my "To Do" list always feels good;
Realizing once that happens, I have ten more things to do, doesn't.
It's like a vending machine––sure you buy the bag of chips, but the second the bag drops, another one is right there waiting.