Sunday, August 30, 2015

Rest

A day off from life;
The couch, Netflix, food, my BFF.
I really needed this.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Undone

The damage is done,
Words cut deep.
Actions reveal truth.
There isn’t a drug strong enough to dull the pain;
Or an apology so powerful it would heal the wound.
All we can do is move forward and allow time to ease the memories.

Friday, August 28, 2015

You Can Pick Your Friends...

The family dynamic is complex;
All of those sayings like "You can pick your friends..." "Blood is thicker than water." "Family is forever..." are not an excuse to behave however you want to family members.
I'm sad that my motives to help my sister recover have been perceived as selfish, especially by members of my own family—but then I have to remind myself that people project what the feel.
My sister knows my heart, even if my loved ones do not. I can't change their opinion of me (and I will always love them) but I can certainly change my  proximity.
I have opinions about them too, but it's for the best that I don't share them.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

A Trip To The ER

My sister is admitted into the ER after complaining all day of level—10 pain. (Personally I think it was exacerbated by the fact that our mom and our extended family decided to launch into attack mode.) Nevertheless, here we are in the ER brought by an ambulance—after a ton of runaround between nursing bays, Shiree and I sit in the hospital room. Shiree has to get blood drawn and while the RN inserts the IV—mom & dad leave the room for coffee. The second they leave Shiree says, "Isn't it so peaceful now that they're gone?" The nurse laughs and Shiree waits for my response, "Matt?" 
I say yes, mom has given me a headache all day, but she's here because she loves us.
Shiree says, "I know. That's why I'm trying to be nice."
There was nothing nice about today.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Plop Plop

My sister’s inability to have a bowel movement for four days had us all in agony, her from the pain and us from hearing her torture-level moans.  The nurse suggested a suppository, and after a lot of probing (literally) she finally caved.  Dad and I left the room for about fifteen minutes so that the head nurse and her night nurse could administer the waxy poop maker. Jennifer, her nurse, came out into the family area and assured us we could go back into the room.  She continued to inform us that the quicker-shitter-upper could take up to an hour to produce results, except that by the time that we had returned to the room, my sister was curled up in a ball squeezing her butt checks and clinging to the red emergency call rope.
We walked in and she said, “I got to go! NOW!”  I ran out laughing, and nearly shit my pants––it was a hilarious scene.  I ran to get the nurse, and in the meantime my dad asked, “Wasn’t that a pleasant experience?”  To which my sister responded, “The going in part wasn’t, but this next part might be!”  We burst into laughter and the nurses ran by with gloves and a bucket.  When you’re sick, there’s no difference between us and animals, shit is shit––and you don’t horse around with that.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

A Step In The Right Direction

Her tired body fights to stand;
She’s working hard, but remains frustrated that her body hasn’t caught up with her mind.
Her wit and sarcasm are fully intact.
With a big smile she returns to her comfy lounge chair.
Time for a break before speech therapy.
Recovery doesn’t happen overnight––only in the movies.
Thankfully, the road ahead is promising.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Men Are Weak.

I agree with my sister––most men are weak.
It’s hard for guys to see the women they love in pain, yet every lady I know could march through a bullet-storm in hell to protect their men.
My sister is such a fighter; surviving cancer and every illness thrown her way.
Now if she could just build up an immunity to the people in her life who surround her with a cloud of negativity.
Her light will always conquer their weakness.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Faith Triumphs

There will always be those naysayers who find reasons to doubt;
Their negative energy is damaging and counterproductive.
It’s my goal to shine light, positive energy, and contagious Faith––perseverance and God are stronger than any poison a dubious person can administer.
I’m confident that my sister will fight and overcome.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Golden Moments

Spending my Saturday night watching The Golden Girls with my sister just like we used to do when we were kids.
We would huddle around the television set in the living room in our uncle’s house while our parents played cards in the kitchen; we snuck in for Oreo cookies and milk during commercial breaks––then quickly back into our TV splendor.
The show made us feel closer to our grandmas, even though we were a thousand miles away.
As adults The Golden Girls still serves as a memory of our grams, more importantly, it’s a reminder of the bond that we’ve shared our entire lives––as long as we have one another we can conquer anything.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Persistence Is Key

Pushing loved ones is never fun;
But necessary for recovery.
This process is painful for everyone,
But like everything in life persistence is key.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Sis

My sister at a popsicle on her own today;
A huge step on the road to recovery.
She smiled and said, “Cherry! Aren’t you going to eat?”
I said I would later.
She responded, “Won’t it go bad? Don’t you think you should eat it?”
Even when she’s sick, she stays thoughtful of others.
I sat and at a popsicle next to her like we did when we were kids.
She smiled at me––today, that was enough.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Progress

“Matthew Shaffer, enough!”
The words my sister sluggishly muttered to me today from her hospital bed.
Less lethargic, more lucid and responsive to questions.
Struggling with full sentences, but her phrases are sharp and to the point.
I love my little sister so much.
She is one tough cookie with a sweet and gooey inside, and she is going to make a full recovery; she’s a fighter!

Monday, August 17, 2015

Fighter

My sister is brave and strong;
Even while sedated––she resists being told what to do.
Her willpower is no joke.
But she’ll still laugh when she passes gas,
And scream my name when I force her to wear her oxygen.
I love her so much.
#Fighter

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Faith and Family

Today my Faith was tested; I failed.
My sister is lying in a hospital bed, her body is weak.  Fever has rendered her incoherent and like families do, we took our fear out on each other.
Emotions run high, and unfortunately I said things I didn’t mean to say.
You can’t undo hurtful words––regardless of whether or not they are warranted.
I questioned God, not because my sister is ill, but because of my dads conviction that is in direct conflict of my belief.
Regardless, I love my dad and mom, and we all love my sister.  We have to do better to be kind, forgiving and Faithful.
Family is the most important thing to me, and I have to allow my actions to speak louder than my hurtful words.

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Fabulous Life of a Dancer

The more you drink,
The fatter you get;
Plus it’s really hard to wake up in the morning!
How do you say “no” to fabulous events with dancers and choreographers from around the world?
Answer: You don’t––you drink more and worry about it once the festival ends.
#LifeOfADancer

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Thank You

It’s a simple phrase, one which I’ve used a lot this week.
I’ve never felt such a genuine outpouring of support, praise, and admiration;
Teaching has always been something I’ve done as my “day job”.
It’s only now that I’m discovering that dancers and choreographers actually respect my approach to movement.
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude––when I wrote my book I had hoped that I might have an impact on someones dance career.
Working with dancers from around the world this week has single handedly reinvigorated my passion.
Thank you to all of the dancers, choreographers, and teachers who have reminded me that dance continues to be my pulse.
Let’s do this!

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Tap Jam In A Barn

Building rhythms,
Feet moving with precision,
Surgeon like execution!
The barn was alive with jazz music, tap percussionists, food, and wine.
Dancers United to share their stories.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

#Truth

After teaching full day of dance my body feels broken;
Regardless of how young I feel––I’m not twenty one anymore!

Monday, August 10, 2015

Just Dance

I’m always nervous working with new dancers.
You never know exactly what to expect.
Will they be talented?
Will they have technique?
Will they enjoy my choreography?
Will they learn something from me?
The minute I get into class, introduce myself and put the music on I relax and remember, oh right, they just love to dance as much as I do––that’s why they’re there.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Dance United

Nine countries,
Three hundred dancers and choreographers,
Music, laughter, cross-cultural conversation, food, and wine;
A brilliant way to unite the world.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

This Is My Seat

If you don't care about your weight;
Why should I?
It's not my fault you don't fit in your seat—but you certainly don't get to take up half of mine.
#AmericanHealthCrisis #Obesity 

Friday, August 7, 2015

Fired

I've fired myself from creative writing.
Not because I have nothing to say—rather I'm too lazy to commit.
#DoBetter

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Slacking

Two days without words;
Slacking on my goals.
My mind needs rest, but I'm still on the go.
There's no excuse—creativity never sleeps.
I can do better.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Day Off

Yoga
Pool
Starbucks
Movie
Repeat steps two and three;
[THEN]
Puppy cuddle time on the couch.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Just Keep Working.

When you focus on the work:
The end of the work day comes faster,
The results are greater,
And the opportunities for success are more abundant!

Monday, August 3, 2015

Skin and Bear It.

When I was in high school I spent hours in the bathroom following a strict skin care treatment plan in order to alleviate the sever acne triggered by closeted teenage stress.
As and adult I spend hours in the bathroom studying the lines in my face; I’ll take the lines over the acne any day!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Options:

A.) Enjoy every adventure, seek balance, and live in the moment.
B.) Live in fear, doubt everything, and worry about the future.
It’s a tough decision... But I think I’m going to strive for option “A”.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Screening

The excitement of meeting up with the cast and crew months later to watch the final product.
I'm full of nervous energy in anticipation of my performance on a big screen.
The first time my face pops up on screen, I relax.
It's so cool to see my ridiculous reaction right next to movie star Paul Rudd.
The years of hustling, hard work, and perseverance feel small next to my larger than life alter ego.
I love this business. It's important to acknowledged my feelings in moments like this; there's no telling when my next opportunity to shine will come, and I don't want to give up before it does.
Making it in Hollywood means never giving up.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Focus On The Work

Every overwhelming day starts with a list.
A concise plan which enable me to think clearly;
I begin with just one task.
As I continue to cross minuscule projects off the list,
I grow more confident in my progress and become conscious of my path.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The End Of The Road...

Six weeks, five cities, seven book signings, twenty different clothing combinations, thirty five hundred entries, countless plays of “Dear Future Husband”, enough pizza to build a bridge to Rome and back, more alcohol than water, glitter, confetti, hotel beds, hotel bars, Netflix, late night adventures on a golf course, and almost no sleep…
The time has finally come––our 2015 season has officially ended.
The only thing left to do is party on a yacht!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Life Is An Adventure

Tonight I got lost on a golf course,
Danced with my crew,
Drank too much,
And walked into the wrong hotel room.
I can proudly report, I’m living an adventure.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Random Thought

People who complain can be annoying.
I'm not complaining, I'm just stating the truth.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Don't Judge A Book... Or A Person

I’m ready to admit when I wrong;
I judged a person based on others opinions.
My gram taught me when I was five years old, not to listen to what others say about a person; rather, form your own conclusion after spending time with them.
Following a candid conversation, I realize I made a mistake.
It happens about once every five years, so I might as well own up to it.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Life On Tour

Dancers travel in packs.
Like high school girls vying for Queen bitch.
Lining up at Southwest for our last national competition;
I’m so ready for a break from the #Drama.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Take Action

The most difficult challenge on tour is staying productive.
Either you work, or you don’t have work.
Stay focused.  Don’t be a perfectionist.
Get the job done and move on.
Life is short; take action!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I Need A Shower

A shower can change my entire outlook on life;
For example, when I got back to my hotel room I was cranky, bitter, smelly person who spent all day talking.
Now I’m refreshed and ready for a cocktail.
#HotWaterChangesLives

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Deal With It

Some people are just born assholes;
You don’t always recognize them at first, well actually, yes you really do; the signs are there, you just ignore them.
Finally, their nasty personality and winning ego eventually get the best of you.
In that moment a switch goes off in my head that triggers me to ignore them with a huge smile.
That’s how I deal with it.

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Creative Process

Finding creative inspiration daily can be a daunting task.
I wake up each morning with the intent to grow as an artist, which often means spending hours online searching for inspiration.
On those lucky days where a politician has sparked outrage, an activist stirs emotion, or a celebrity is caught in a scandal I have plenty of motivation;
All the other days I’m stuck staring at the blank page (so to speak) for hours.
The point is that I remain focused on establishing creative habits.
The creative process is different for everyone, but the universal truth is if you don’t remain proactive your art will die a slow and bitter death.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Life on Tour

I’m an adventurist.
Never one to shy away from an unearthed path; I seek adrenaline in discovering new heights––personally and professionally.
Working on the road is has been an endless journey in self-awareness and evolution.
I’ve spent the past twenty years traveling for my job.
It’s sounds glamorous––hotels, exotic locations, new cultures, food, fancy parties, everything you imagine exists.
However the setbacks come a with a laundry list as well.
When I was in my early twenties I savored waking up in a new city ready to learn, I racked up the frequent flyer miles, too.
Experiencing the world on someone else’s dollar is not a bad way to earn a living.
I learned how to communicate in foreign languages, make the most of ten hours in a new city, get lost in a cathedral, pack a carry-on for a fifteen day trip, find the perfect cup of coffee, and socialize with strangers. My time on the road has been well spent.
Now in my late thirties, I’m running out of steam. Flying all night, public transportation, missing workouts, no time to meditate, eating poorly, drinking until all hours of the night, lumpy hotel beds, and long nights away from my husband and puppies is taking its toll.
I’m ready for a new adventure: Fatherhood.
I’m an artist and I will always seek out new opportunities that push me from my comfort zone.  It’s time to create something bigger than me.
I’m at the fork in the road, and ready to try a new path.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Options

Stand in the line that serpentines around terminal 7 for coffee from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf? 
Or
Go without coffee on this 6 a.m. flight? 
I think you know my answer...
#Addicted 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Another Life Lesson

Despite your greatest effort and dedication;
Some days you just drop the ball.
Build a bridge and get over it.
#AnotherLifeLesson

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Cartoon Thursday

If it wasn’t already complexity evident by my chosen profession;
I’m a grown up kid.
And because I work on the weekends, I have to find time for cartoon watching.
[Enter Netflix]
Scrolling through my cue:
Archer, American Dad, Family Guy, Scooby-Doo––get the picture?
Animation Nation.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

LA Poem

Meetings, meetings, meetings;
And a pool.
Life in LA is always cool.
#CheesyPoem

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Ikea: Food For Thought

I went to Ikea for some inexpensive frames,
And walked out with two turkey hotdogs, potatoes chips, and a soda;
There’s just something about cheap, Swedish meat.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Open Letter To An Annoying Starbucks Customer

Dear Cranky Starbucks Lady,

Thank you for your unsolicited insight; I don’t give a shit what you think.
P.S. Starting a conversation with, this is none of my business and I don’t care, but... Clearly means you care.

Sincerely,
That guy who ignored your request and smiled instead of telling you to F_ck Off!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Love and Marriage


Twelve years together;
Two years legally recognized by the state of California.
Now, officially acknowledge across the United States.
As a kid I dreamed of being married with children.
(I also dreamed of being rich and famous.) Both are a work in progress.
Earlier in my life I struggled to accept that I was gay, it meant giving up on a committed relationship and raising a family.
Thankfully (and at the exact right time in my life) I found a man who would inspire me, challenge me, support me, and validate me; all while making me laugh.
I believe in God for the very reason that He lead me to my dreams––despite the fact that they look a little different than the “normal” I grew up believing in.
Love comes in many different packages, mine although not perfect, is still the best gift I’ve ever received.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Guilty

When you’re laying on your couch watching a marathon of KeepIng Up With The Kardashian’s instead of writing.
Positive: I get to cuddle with my puppies and catch up on some much needed brain downtime.
Negative: It’s a beautiful day outside and I could be at our pool, or at the very least working on one of the forty creative projects I’d like to finish this century.
But life is short, and in an effort to strike a balance between overachieving and turning into a fat, lazy, couch-potato, I’m struggling to live in this moment; on the couch.

Friday, July 10, 2015

The RealiTV Is...

As an artist who sacrificed almost every waking hour from third grade through high school to train, study, and perform––so that I could spend my life as a performer, I’m embarrassed to admit:
I am addicted to Reality TV.
It’s mindless and outrageous content that makes me feel a little bit better about my life.
Jeff and I have spent the last five years mocking Reality TV with our digital short parodies, but since the launch of my book we’ve been too busy to produce more content, so I think I’m going through full withdrawal.
During the past six months on tour I’ve consumed more trashy, scandalous, Kardashianesque crap than ever before.
And the RealiTV is I’m just disgusted with myself.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a conversation with Bethenny.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Irony

The industry I’m in requires me to maintain a “healthy” (bone thin) frame;
And every meeting, function, and event that I’m required to attend serves a ton of food!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Monday, July 6, 2015

OVEReating.

I’m over eating!
No, seriously I’m overeating and I’ve reached a point where I can’t even look at food without getting sick.
I never thought I’d live to see this day.
Let the juice cleans begin!

Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Perfect Storm

I’ve always heard that “luck” is when preparation meets opportunity.
After twenty years of nonstop hustling in the entertainment industry––I have a much better appreciation for the phrase.
The truth is no matter how much you prepare or how hard you work you can’t force the opportunity.
I’ve enjoyed my fair share of victories; similarly, I’ve experienced devastating setbacks.
I’m an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so I invest all of my emotion and creativity into every project with the hope of success.  In doing so, I can look back on a lifetime of fun adventures and mini-dreams coming true.
When I set out to write a book, I imagined it on bookshelves in Barnes & Noble. I had no idea how it would happen, but I focused on writing a story I’d want to read, and I didn’t worry about anything else.
My finished manuscript sat on a shelf (or rather a folder on my Mac) for two years before the opportunity to sell it came along.
There were a few false starts, but it wasn’t until my partner and I created forty digital short videos, three television pilots, and I was performing on a TV show that a publisher took interest.
It was the perfect storm. Preparation meeting opportunity.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
I have to remind myself of that every day.  We always want every project we invest in to be a raging success; it’s only when the creator and project are certain for success that the opportunity appears.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Wake Up Call

The moment you wake up from a comfortable sleep with passion and determination; the very same motivation that inspired your last big idea––finally after months of overeating, negative thinking, and lack of Faith.
It’s time!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Cookies

My struggle with cookies goes something like this:
I don’t need it, so I’m not going to eat it.
Okay, just one.  It’s small and once I have the taste in my mouth I want crave it anymore.
[Five minutes later]
One more won’t hurt––I ate a light lunch and dinner is a few hours away.
[2 hours and a whole bag of cookies later]
I can’t believe I ate the whole bag of cookies and I’m still hungry.]
[After dinner]
I wish I had dessert!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Hustle, It's Your Day Off!

Today is my day off;
Which means I only have three conference calls,
Two classes,
15 emails,
and 4 social media posts to finish before I get to spend some time with friends at the pool.
Hustle, the life of an artist in the entertainment industry.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Pep Talk

Some days you just need a good pep talk;
Remember:
Life is too short to give a shit what anyone else thinks.
Follow your passion and stay focused.
Face negative energy with a positive action.
Don’t give up!

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Family Ties

The conversations I have with my sister now versus when we were growing up is night and day.
The fights, name calling, and competition has been replaced with love, respect, and support.
I feel blessed to have a friendship with such a strong woman.
I’m impressed with her wit and intelligence, and her ability to listen and offer thoughtful feedback is appreciated.
She knows me, accepts me, values me, and encourages me––which is inspiring from a little sister.
Our evolution has been a constant work in progress, and I’m grateful for her willingness to continue to build our relationship.
You can’t choose your family, but you can choose how to communicate with them; I’m lucky to have a sister who’s ready to participate!

Friday, June 26, 2015

#LoveWins

A rainbow sea of love and support;
I was reminded today that light and love win over fear and darkness.
As a teenager I struggled and ultimately condemned myself to live a lie.
Thankfully, over time and support from friends and family, I found the authentic me.
I had accepted that I could follow my dreams and love who I want; but would never be married.
Two years ago in California, I provide myself wrong––after 11 years of unconditional love, support, and creativity I was married to my best friend.
Today, everyone in this country, regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation, can experience the joy and safety of equality.
Love is love and marriage is marriage.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Glamorous Life

Running on fumes.
Life on the road keeps me out of shape, eating poorly, and up too late.
I need to set boundaries.
I also need to scale back on some of the impossible goals I set for myself.
It’s a delicate balance, and right now, I’ve got to engage my center and pull up on a full relevĂ©!

Monday, June 22, 2015

Dancer Body...

There’s not enough Advil in the world to relax my body.
Time for a long meditation, relaxing floor stretch, and a long hot bath.
#BodyAche

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Book Signing

Nerves,
What if no one shows;
Ego vs. Faith.
I love talking to a group of people about the entertainment industry.
Friends come to support;
Small but mighty.
I have a book in Barnes & Noble;
I should consider that a victory.
Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Disney Coffee Taste Better...

Well, not really—but it should; 
I just spent $4.95 for an iced coffee.
No fancy business, just the beans!
The Mouse understands capitalism better than anyone else!

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Selfish

People who still don't know how to proceed through the TSA line fall in the same category as those who think it's okay to get on an elevator before allowing people to get off.
#Selfish

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Monday, June 15, 2015

Chores

I love doing laundry;
Primarily because it's a reminder that I have a washing machine in my home—which is huge.
I'm a grown up now.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Netflix

My favorite way to fall asleep:
Reruns of The West Wing on Netflix.
TV on demand, online!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Family Time

Early wake-up call;
I have to find time for my family.
A quick walk to Starbucks—two puppies and my bug.
These moments are the most important part of my day, and the greatest aspect of my life.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Two Dogs, One Lap.

The struggle is real;
The Shih Tzu wants to cuddle,
The Yorkie wants all the attention,
I want a blanket to keep me warm while I write my blog post.
Only one will win—right now the Yorkie is the princess in the lead!

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Floor Bed

Laying on a pile of down-filled blankets and pillows, cuddling with puppies watching movies;
An excellent way to spend a rainy day off!

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Reflection

My emotions are on high alert;
I cried on an airplane for forty minutes last night.
There was no reason really––a song played on my iPhone, and I just started balling.
Flashbacks to childhood dreams lead to a self-evalutaion:
What I’ve achieved,
Who I’ve lost,
How much I’ve sacrificed.
I make choices that I believe will lead me to the best version of myself possible.
Only when I look back at the end of my life, will I know if it was all worth it.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Remember:

When you stop hating yourself––you start loving yourself;
And that’s the first step in succeeding in life.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Doggy Dreaming

Snuggled up in a warm bed;
Maybe I’ll get up for food, or maybe I’ll stay right here and stretch.
Long walks, lap time, and belly rubs.
Endless amounts of cookies and treats.
Someone who cleans up after my every move;
I wish I had my dogs life!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Let Go and Go Get It!

In an effort to reduce stress and enjoy a more balanced life,
I’ve decided I’m not going to rage today.
Yes, I want to go off on the lack of productivity I’ve received from people whom I entrusted with my career––but the simple truth remains;
NO ONE will ever work as hard as me on my behalf.
So, the negative energy is gone, and I’m ready to move on!
#LetGo&GoGetIt

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Thursday, May 28, 2015

That's Life

The minute you allow yourself to feel excitement for getting caught up,
Something happens causing a three hundred dollar meltdown.
I should be used to it at this point, but I don’t think we’re ever prepared for the sudden punch to our gut!
That’s life... or so “they” say.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Broke Down

The feeling of having a nervous breakdown when your car stalls in the middle of rush hour.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Weekend Warrior

Work, promote, play!
I love a weekend where I get paid to have fun.
Critiquing dancers, signing books at Barnes & Noble,
And best of all––spending a fabulous evening with my aunt!
My life has been filled with laughter, love, adventure and encouragement in large part because of her, and I last night was no exception!
Thankfully not everything stays in Vegas... I’m bringing my light up hat and a few bucks back with me this trip!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Glass is Spilling Over.

Expecting to be disappointed will guarantee a success at being disappointed.
Maintaining a positive outlook on life is not always easy, however it usually assures a more meaningful, joyous path to victory.
Setbacks, roadblocks, and negative people will prove frustrating––despite those obstacles we still have the opportunity to remain confident and trust in our optimistic point of view.
It might be perceived as naive, but I have no problem smiling while others are judging me.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Airport Starbucks

The line for Starbucks is always twice as long as the TSA.
Both are full of people who are cranky and never ready when their turn comes.
At least with Starbucks you get a jolt of caffeine...
All the TSA has ever given me was a really aggressive 3rd base!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Goodnight Moon

Stars are out,
The moon shines bright—I'm too tired to write,
So I'll just say goodnight.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Making An Artist

Passion.
Ambition.
Talent.
Hard work.
Relentless determination.
Fearlessness.
Faith.
Most of all, Faith.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Giving Back

My book tour continues.
Today I return to my roots;
The campus may have changed—but their mission is still the same:
Providing an impeccable education and challenging each artist to create at the highest level, in state-of-the-art facilities.
#OCSA

Monday, May 18, 2015

Loss

The pain of losing a loved one is deep and constant.
Rejoice in their memory;
Remember the times they made you laugh or touched your soul.
Find comfort in their peace and celebrate their life.
The pain will linger, but so will the love.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Sunday

Brunch.
Industry event.
Long walk with the puppies.
Family time on the couch.
Mad Men.
I love Sunday's at home.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

LA Life

Photo shoot,
Conference call and a wedding.
It’s not a movie title––it’s just another day in LA.

Friday, May 15, 2015

It's A Living. ...and a coffee break.

My A-type personality never stops working whether I’m on the road, in an airport or at home, my head is constantly forcing me to be productive.
But my most of my best work happens at my office.
And by “office” I mean Starbucks.
It’s a strange part of my Gen-Y upbringing, either that, or the amount of time I spent in Starbucks while living in New York  (because my apartment was under 200 square feet).
I feel more connected and alive when I’m sitting next to a row of likeminded creators hacking away on their Mac’s––and the one random accountant on his PC (belly chuckle).

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Deep Breath. Really Deep...

Even after meditation, deep breaths and a lot of journaling––sometimes you just have to say F_c$ it!
Is that email response or follow up phone call really going to make all the difference?
My brain says yes! Never miss an opportunity, but my heart and soul want balance.
So, I’m walking away from the computer, and I’m giving myself a forced day off.
Because life is short!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Monday, May 11, 2015

Pep Talk

Occasionally I allow my inner demons to invade my creativity;
Slowly chipping away at my determination, passion, and spirit.
Nothing about the entertainment industry is easy. After nearly twenty years in this business, I can confidently say that nobody who succeeds does so without nonstop tenacity.
Enduring rejection, failure, and a barrage of negativity from every direction.
The challenge for me has always been to find a positive course of action and ignore the seemingly obvious facts.
It was much easier to convince myself to remain blissfully ignorant and optimistic in my twenties, nevertheless I continue to find hope.
It's not that I can't do something else with my life—I'm talented, motivated, and hard working.
There's a reason I was born with a creative passion, and I'm certain it was not to squash it out; why would I walk if I was born with wings to soar?

Sunday, May 10, 2015

A Day of Rest

I’d like to say that I’m going to spend my unexpected day off having brunch with friends followed by a sunny beach day.
Instead, I’m going to make a fort in my living room and cuddle with my puppies while watching 90′s sitcoms on Netflix.
In life, you have to know when to relax.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Power of a Choice

I have two choices:
Complain about the situation and expect it to change.
Or
Take charge of the situation and create positive change.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Smile

The ability to rise above the stress and remember that nothing ever comes from negative energy.
Smiling is a free drug!

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

With A Present Like Today...

Who cares about tomorrow?
Fleeting moments of clarity always arrive precisely when you need them most.
It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with the quest for continued success, that I miss opportunities to bathe in the accomplishment that surround me now.
The best birthday present I received this year, was one I gave myself; the gift of release.
Release the need to:
Do it all.
Keep lists.
Cross things off lists.
Predict the future.
Maintain a perfect body.
Deprive myself of guilty pleasures (in moderation).
It’s frightening to let go of the obsessive behavior that I connect to my success.
Will I still get things accomplished?  Will I be ready for the future?  Will I overlook an email and lose an opportunity?
No.  I believe I will enjoy the work in front of me. I will be more productive and I will be able to celebrate accomplishments as they happen.
More than anything, there will be less stress in my life and I will be able to find the balance I’ve been seeking for years.
My Faith reminds me that I will be where I need to be, when I need to be there.
What’s that quote? Today is always here––tomorrow, never!

Monday, May 4, 2015

It's My Birthday...

And I'll eat, drink, laugh, eat more and drink more if I want too!
I'll also probably be demanding and complain that I'm eating too much.
This childish behavior will most likely last for a week—and it started last week.
I blame my family for hosting a parade in my honor every year while I was growing up.
(The fact that the parade was actually the annual Blossom Day parade hosted by the city I grew up in, and my family "dedicated" it to me, explains my entire life.)
#DealWithIt! 

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Ego

My confidence is like an iceberg; if the cap above water represents my confident exterior, the remainder below is my insecurity. 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Coffee

To go one day without coffee,
I could do it—I just don't want to.
Where else have I heard this?
Okay, perhaps I'm an addict! 
It could be worse, I don't think anyone has died of a coffee overdose.
Have they?

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Day Off

Time with family;
A trip to the spa,
Walking through the sand on the beach,
Dinner with a sunset view at The Ivy.
#IReallyNeedThis

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Man's Best Friend

Cozy and warm snuggling next to my puppies;
It’s hard to leave the peaceful slumber.
Especially when you realize the day will be full of annoying people.
I’ll enjoy another five minutes with my innocent, loving, furry family.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Working Day Off

Conference calls on my day off, feels like a trip to the emergency room while on vacation;
It’s annoying and unavoidable sometimes.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Choreography

I was convinced that the only way I could be happy was if I was performing.
However, after watching Rachel Platten execute the choreography I taught her while crushing her vocals at last nights Radio Disney Music Awards, my mind has been changed.
Rachel owned that stage like the star that she is, and I felt like I was soaring up there with her.
Dare I write this? It almost feels better to watch someone you’ve helped, shine!
She inspired millions, and I was a part of that.
So it really isn’t all about me?
I think I’m growing up.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Creative Habit

Becoming a creative person is not something that just happens.
As far as I know, nobody came out of the womb with a paint brush, pointe shoe, musical instrument or reciting Shakespeare.
Creativity is a discipline. A process of learning how to take your passion and develop it into a craft that inspires emotion.
Creative people are focused, dedicated, hard working, overachievers who strive for new ideas and pushing boundaries.
The most effective way I’ve found to support my creative endeavors, is by staying focused on the habit of creating work.
It might not always be brilliant, but it will always lead to a more productive journey.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Work Work Work

What’s that saying, “many hands make less work?”
Wrong!
Regardless of how many people I have “working” on my behalf, I still feel like the only one getting anything accomplished.
I’m not complaining or bragging...
I’m begging for help!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Death & Taxes

I'd rather die;
Than see how much I owe in taxes.
Not really, but wow—what do we get for our taxes, seriously?!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Travel Day

When you take a Super Shuttle to save $5;
And the shuttle is twenty minutes late and has ten stops to make—that is rage!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Monday, April 20, 2015

Book Signing: Come One, Come Ten...

I’m getting my message out there one book signing at a time!
Now, if I could only figure out a plan of attack to get more than twenty people at a time to show up.
In fact, I was hoping to have about one hundred people per event.
Is that too much to ask?
According to my manager, agent, publisher, publicist and the Barnes & Noble rep... Yes.
You’d think that if they were receiving a FREE dance class, workshop and evaluation dancers would be lined up in scores;
Apparently people don’t read anymore!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Devil is Everywhere

Fighting to stay positive,
In a world full of negativity and insecurities.
Most will tell you why you won't succeed;
Few will encourage you to stay the course.
Find those people who energize you,
And shine your light bright—that's where God thrives!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Besties

When I was younger, I had a large circle of friends. 
As I got older, the circle grew smaller and I learned to distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance.
I have very few people who I consider true friends; who provide inspiration, unconditional love, support and endless side-splitting-snot-out-your-nose laughter.
I'm in Pittsburgh visiting my bestie, and in natural form I've almost peed my pants twice and received a dose of seriousness.
I love watching my friends evolve. I'm moved by the journey we've navigated, from our wild days in New York City, career highs and lows, marriage and dealing with adulthood.
I feel blessed to have friends whom I value as family (without the drama.)

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Book Tour: Travel Day

My favorite thing about traveling is the TSA line.
Okay, not at all—but I'm trying to stay positive on my book tour;
And I am positive that the security line is always a joke.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Monday, April 13, 2015

Life On Tour

Travel days are rough.  I'm up too early, and I stay up too late.
Life on the road seems fun;
Until you're stuck there.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

A Visit From Gram

I savored her embrace, gentle but firm;
I could smell her perfume and hear her laugh.
I even got to dance with her again.
It felt so real––I didn’t realize it was a dream until I woke up.
But at least I got to say goodbye.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Local Commercials: A Perk of Traveling

Watching local TV commercials is similar to attending a high school production of “Grease”: forced comedy, awkward chemistry between the cast and that girl who thinks they’re going to be discovered as the next Jennifer Lawrence.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Travel Day

Flying isn't the worst part;
It's the TSA line.
I wish I could wrinkle my nose Bewitched style and arrive at my desired destination.
Then again, if I was a witch I probably wouldn't be traveling for work, would I?

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Fake It...

That terrible moment when you wake up to discover the ridiculously over-the-top incident that took place yesterday was NOT a dream.
Moving forward, walking on eggshells;
NO, that is not who I am.
So now, I have to “be” the asshole who pretends everything is normal.
Is this only Hollywood? Or does this shit happen in Nebraska, too?

Monday, April 6, 2015

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Jesus Christ Superstar

It was standing room only during mass today;
Who says God is not a Rockstar?
Obviously Christmas has become such a commercially celebrated holiday––for Christians and non-Christians alike;
Now if only we could remind practicing Christians that Easter is by far a more important day.
Lets compare:
Christmas, the birth of Jesus. Okay, well people are born EVERY day.
Easter, the resurrection of Jesus.  Yeah, you don’t see that every day do you?

Saturday, April 4, 2015

The Puppy Waiting Game

The line at Starbucks is usually long;
My puppies sit in a chair waiting patiently.
Onlookers remark on how well trained they are—really they just know the cookies are in my pocket, but the only way the get them is if the save our table.
They're adorable.
I love my dogs like children.
I'm not crazy, I realize they're not human;
They're far too kind to be that!

Friday, April 3, 2015

Dr. Orders: Take Two Days Off and Call Me in The Morning

Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to take a break from work,
Then I remember all of those wise (by wise I mean people in their sixties) leaders on TV share wisdom to their younger self:
“I would have told myself that it’s all going to be okay.” or “You don’t have to try so hard.” or “You’re going to need triple-bypass surgery on your heart if I don’t stop stressing out so much.”
I’m giving myself the weekend off.
Starting now!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Nonstop

I don’t know what’s worse:
Organizing my taxes, or cleaning our house?!
Thankfully, I finished both.
Now, can I please have a day off?!
#INeedToTakeABreak

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

NYC Smile

A frown goes a long way;
A smile goes even further.
Negative energy spreads on the streets of New York;
But one smile lights up Times Square!

Monday, March 30, 2015

Note To Self:

Never visit NYC during Spring break.
A.) It might be Spring, but it’s still F_cking FREEEEZING;
B.) The streets are covered with annoying teenagers who act out scenes in their favorite NY movies––and yes, I realize I did that when I was their age, too.
But I don’t care. It’s a lot to deal with.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

A NYC Day

Rehearsal.
Starbucks.
Conference call.
Choreography.
Radio Interview.
Dinner with friends.
All in a day in NYC!
#BookLaunch

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

890 Broadway

Just over ten years have passed.
I walk into the studio, my friend and her company dancers are rehearsing an emotionally charged, athletic dance;
It's as if time stood still.
The only noticeable difference is the beautiful evolution of creativity and confidence.
I love my friend.
#LifeOfAnArtist

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Escape Negativity and Shine

I have two options:
Fear or Faith.
People can only disappoint you, when you give them the power to.
I need to ask for what I want (which I’m fairly good at) and then move on whether they help me or not (which I’m fairly bad at).
Life is too short to live in negativity.
So I must do whatever it takes to crawl out of the darkness and into the light.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the light switch, but it’s always worth it once you shine.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Note To Self:

People are mean.
There's nothing you can do about it.
Smile and let go.
Or be mean back, with a smile. 

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Another Hotel...

Another almost comfortable (but still not your own) bed.
Watching television shows you would never watch at home.
It’s like you’re having an affair on your regularly scheduled programming.
#LifeOnTour

Friday, March 20, 2015

Thursday, March 19, 2015

The End of the Day and Nothing to Say

I spent too much time doing things that weren’t creative;
I forgot to share my words.
Not a great day.
Writing is key!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

You Can('t) Do It All...

Remember that time I said, “there is plenty of time every day to do what you need to do...”
I stand corrected.
No matter how early I wake up, or how late I stay awake working––I can’t get it all done!
Who knew launching a book took so much time and energy?
Even with a publisher, agent, manager, two publicists and a group of very supportive friends, I still feel like overwhelmed.
#OCDpleaseWorkForMe!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Realization

I could never be an event planner.
Over the past three weeks I’ve been arranging the details of my official book launch (Sunday March 29th at Broadway Dance Center in NYC from 6-9PM) and I’m exhausted from the rejection.
As a performer who has been in the industry for over twenty years, I’m used to hearing “no”.
Generally, I can handle that because the odds are stacked against you in the first place.
However, when you invest time, energy, emotion and exploit every contact you know––and you still only have five confirmations?
Those are circumstances I’m not cool with.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Up And At It!

Once I'm awake, I can't go back to sleep;
Not even after a 14 hour day in the theater and a 4AM wake-up call!
So, now I'm getting my work done on an airplane on a Sunday.
#24/7

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Life On Tour

Waking up in a new hotel room every weekend is what I imagine it’s like in the Twilight Zone––everything from the cheap, over-bleached sheets, to the poor water flow in the showers is vaguely familiar, but the furniture is arrange just different enough that you’ll stub your toe EVERY time you wake up in the middle of the night to go pee!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Counting Sheep

If I go to bed now, I can still get five hours of sleep.
But if I stay up working, I can cut my work-time in half tomorrow and take the afternoon off.
(Yeah right, I know I'll just find something else to do.)
It's time to stop typing words, and start counting sheep.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Day Off with Roseanne

Laying in bed watching reruns of Roseanne,
Really puts things into perspective:
The late 80's were hilarious.
Roseanne pushed boundaries,
My life is startlingly similar to a housewives,
I love taking the day off––even though I've got my laptop and I'm still answering emails, posting blogs and making things happen!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Friday, March 6, 2015

Barnes & Noble: Shelved

I will elaborate on this moment when I can fully wrap my mind and heart around the feeling well enough to articulate a worthwhile essay;
In the meantime I will say that walking into a Barnes & Noble and seeing my book on a shelf next to Bob Fosse was overwhelming and incredibly exciting.
I spent the majority of my twenties in a Barnes & Noble, first in Chicago, then New York––reading, exploring, dreaming, scheming and growing as a person and artist.
This is a full-circle, HUGE event in my life.
I will never forget it!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Balancing: Good vs. Bad

Good: I took yoga.
Bad:  I ate a hamburger after.


Good: I accomplished all of my goals on the check list.
Bad: I started a new check list.

Good:  I stayed positive despite receiving unpleasant news.
Bad:  I didn't stay on-top of the situation in the first place.

Good:  I'm almost done with this blog post.
Bad:  I still don't feel good.

#BalanceIsHard

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Monday, March 2, 2015

Flying Stand-By

Is like saying yes to the 1st guy who asks you to prom, and then secretly puts "feelers" out for the dream date. i.e. The Captain of the Football Team!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Friday, February 27, 2015

Another Airport

The shuttle is late,
The people are rude—cramming themselves to the front of the line,
And the TSA is out of control.
Just another day on the job!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Open Note To Haters

Allowing someone else's doubt to dictate my life isn't going to work for me.
I can't be concerned with your thoughts––I have plenty of my own thank you.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

To Do Lists:

Crossing things off my "To Do" list always feels good;
Realizing once that happens, I have ten more things to do, doesn't.
It's like a vending machine––sure you buy the bag of chips, but the second the bag drops, another one is right there waiting.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Life On Tour

4AM wake-up call: Gross.
TSA Pre-check: Not gross.
No line at Starbucks: Priceless.